Over... Over... OVERPROTECTIVE

I remember my cousins would say they live in a dungeon in Jakarta. Well simply because the hate it there and that they seem to miss the Philippines. But in my point of view... they're just actually deprived of playing & their PSPs while me, I'm deprived of being free to roam around. That I sometimes wish the Philippines' crime rate would be like Jakarta. And our streets would be as safe as theirs. For short, I wished I live in Jakarta instead.

I LOVE THE PHILIPPINES, AND I'M PROUD THAT IT'S MY COUNTRY but I sometimes I just wish I was born/live in another place, simply because my parents does not want me to go out late at night, and early in the morning.

Yes, I know I'm already a 21 year old, BSN Graduate & a Registered Nurse but hey I still have my curfew. Sometimes I wish I was a boy so that they'll let me do whatever I want but then maybe even if I'm a big masculine guy with the same credentials, or even a Taekwondo blackbelter they'll never allow me to go where I want, when I want, to do what I want.

I never had extra curricular activities except for that one club requirement in school. Yes, I know it was a LAME childhood and because of that I obviously am not the sporty, active type of person. Last time they restricted me to do extra curricular activities was when I was high school, I joined an alumni org of my alma mater. And since it's composed of members who are already working, meetings were held after office hours. So I would go home late and yes... I did not went home, they fetch me. After two meetings I felt their dismay so I myself gave up and even said that I don't like joining it anyway, but honestly I enjoyed and felt rewarded by god's grace after each meeting... So during my college days I try not to join clubs that would not require meetings that much nor attendance. But, during the last year I was lucky enough that they allowed me to join the outreach program the org had. I was also lucky enough to be allowed to go out with friends once in a while and even have a trip to Indonesia alone with my special best friend.

Now that I'm volunteering for Red Cross, I was touched with the support they gave me this past month. But, maybe like what they always say EVERYTHING HAS AN END. Just this week, they were too clingy. They asked me not to go home later than 6pm. They even begged me to hitch hike with our san beda school bus. Then just yesterday I texted them that my best friend and I would watch a movie they allowed me since my bestfriend was a friend since 2nd yr college. But then when I texted them that we were not able to watch since the next showing was 7:30 and my dad would pick me up at 7:30, my dad told me that I should have gone there earlier. I told him I just cannot leave the booth in San Beda just like that, he answered me and said that "volunteer lang naman kayo, di kayo swelduhan" and yes that pissed me BIG TIME! I did not tell him but in my mind I was saying "at anu iwanan ko yung booth ng ganun lang? iwanan namin yung kasama naming volunteer mag-isa?" I did not talk to my dad until now I only talk to him to say important things like "kakain na", "twalya mo" And just hours ago, my mom sarcastically told me to do whatever I want to do. She was just the one I told about our first aid station tomorrow she allowed me and even planned to prepare food for me, but then when she heard the call time she went BOOM! then she asked me "so paano ka bukas?" when I answered her, "edi magcocommute" she said so many things almost a lecture of DANGERS OF COMMUTING... whenever this happens I always answer with, "edi sige ipadrive niyo sa akin yung kotse" then they would say NO. The only sarcastic thing I never aswered them was "sige edi lalakarin ko na lang", but honestly that answer's always at the back of my mind. I just don't answer that since I know they would just go BALLISTIC!!!

They would always allow me to do things but always with restrictions, and never did I ever disobey them when it comes to me going out with friends. I even tell them stories of what happened during our hang out. And yes, I always ask permission whenever I go out. That's why I mostly go mad whenever they say NO. Because I personally schedule my time and I also think before I ask them. And lastly unlike other teenagers and young adults, I did not disobey them and even pretend that I have a duty or a meeting or an important matter to attend to just to hang out with my friends. I always tell them where I go, and who am I with. So I guess my parents should realize this also. As I realize my faults.

Honestly, I also love to stay at home but it hurts to stay home. Besides the other reasons I tell my mom like our maid with the loudest voice in our street because of her yapping on the phone, our helpers feeling super at home not wearing tops whenever they come inside our house or even when eating (which is by the way very very unpleasant for me to see, coz it's like kabastusan sa biyaya ng diyos) and these helpers close the water whenever I take a bath while they open the main line when THEY take a bath (especially our maid)... and all these pesky things they do whenever mom & da are not around. The other reason why I don't like to stay here is that, the whole house is empty and it just reminds me of the times when it was never empty and I was never alone, when my lola was still alive. I just hate not hearing her anymore, I feel so empty whenever I peep into the sala not seeing her seated on her fave chair cross stitching. I feel empty whenever I go out of my room and seeing her room opened with out her there. I hate hearing the school bus leave with out her shouting "bye labs" or "reyz aalis na kami ah"


I just wanna leave the house so that I could forget this. I also just wanna live her legacy, the active, helpful grandma also known as Mamu. I Just wanna know the outside world that I should have exposed myself with after all this time. I wanna know people, I wanna gain more experiences, more friends, more opportunities for growth. Why can't you just let me... Please...

(hindi naman na siguro kailangan ng RRL niyan di ba kasi kung oo, sige eto sa mga writings ni freud about development meron doon sinasabi na dapat ang PRE-SCHOOL hinahayaan mag explore over over na nga sa delay eh oh. Meron pa, sa hierarchy ni Maslow, meron doon stage na LOVE AND BELONGINGNESS yun, yun ang hinahanap ko yung BELONGINGNESS na yun, at oo kulang yung feeling na belong ka sa family)

~I remain and forever will be Reyza Kennedy~

That feeling of being a PART

sa wakas... i never felt this happy and fullfilled before... well maybe the last time i felt like this was during MedSci days... and yes that was like 5 yrs ago... yung tipong alam mong KASAMA KA TALAGA... hindi yung sabit ka lang or napilitan lang sila kasi andun ka...


I never really planned to stay this long sa Red Cross Muntinlupa... When they asked during the BLS-SFA who wants to be a volunteer I just raised my hand thinking, "might as well volunteer while waiting Reyz" And yes, I was thinking twice during my BVOC last October, if it was not for my bro, Juni, I would have not even went there... I knowing my friends who also raised their hands did can't come.
Like all the first days and first weeks, as usual I was the quiet type... but it usually takes me a month before I become vocal with things, but I just felt welcome and that urged me to speak and befriend every one at once. And yes, it was a first for me!

I would also say that this 1 month I had with these people had been one of my greatest. I gained new friends (and close ones), rejoined old acquaintances which turned out to be friendships, brought me & my GF, Vina, more closer and made me realize that this girl here is really a TRUE FRIEND and a BEST FRIEND I COULD ALWAYS DEPEND ON and of course vis-a-vis... and yes not just friendships were made but also knowledge and skills were added to our cluster of little by little rotting nursing stuffs... And I never experience having SUPPORTIVE PEOPLE as much as these whom surround me now. They keep on encouraging me to achieve my dreams of being a DOCTOR & even CHEERING FOR ME & REMINDING ME TO STUDY!

Lastly, I never felt this much happy winning a sport event (kahit na para kaming sabit dahil akala namin di kami makakasama dahil sa palipatlipat na IVT training na yan!) and that feeling that they never let you feel that you're just a "sabit" to that win, but you were part of it... and that if you were not there it wouldn't be possible.
So, yes... Even though I was far from my friends and even though they may think of other things about me, I know I am on THE RIGHT PLACE... SURROUNDED BY WONDERFUL PEOPLE... ^_^

~I remain and will forever be REYZA KENNEDY~