I'm back to my real self, back to being that happy girl. I may have left Medicine behind and felt bad about it, but I would always say thank you to the experience. I met new people, had new enemies (haha) but I would always have that urge to go back... When the right time comes.
I recently enjoyed April to October teaching. I finished what I left. I was able to say goodbye and thank you to our Safety Service CSR, Ma'am Kriszy. I was able to know more about the newbies that came after I left. I became the bridge to my old batchmates to come back and serve again.
I felt loved, I felt important, I felt welcome. Yes, this is where I should be... But again if it wasn't for taking up Medicine... I wouldn't feel the importance I had in my second home, RED CROSS MUNTINLUPA.
Martes, Oktubre 22, 2013
Studying MEDICINE is like LOVE
I know most people would tell me, "that is one of the weirdest simile I've ever read"... I stopped blogging my rave and rants 7 months ago... and looking back to those posts... I see why I stopped. Those were the moments when I felt blessed, I felt lucky and proud to have a first hand experience to be molded into one of the most prestige professions of this planet... a DOCTOR.
I read my previous blog... and I see how I was soooo proud of my choice... I see myself confident... I see myself cheerful... Those 6 months that I have been quiet... I was the opposite I was burdened, suffering and generally not liking the whole thing going on.
I realized that really being into Medicine is not a privilege for those who can afford, but a calling not like Nursing as a calling it was like Priesthood as a calling. I felt alone during my journey. I keep on reading my older "journal notes" on my planner which I wrote during my alone time. I just kept on reading myself saying I was alone, I was sad, I really want this badly but I just can't take the fact that you should ISOLATE YOURSELF from the whole world. This includes family, friends (outside of med school), social networking (except when ranting) and yes I CANNOT TAKE THAT!
I decided to continue till the end of the school year, just for me not to give the damn shot and that feeling of giving up without a fight. So I ended up struggling to at least save me some face. After the final exams my first instinct was to go home and relax despite me knowing I have already buried my Medicine career. After that knowing the results are out I kinda did not want to see it but I know I have to. So I just finish reading my results dwell on it a little and cried.
After going through my Depression state my next step was, so where to go from here? I decided to go back to a place where I felt secured and felt at home despite not really being home. I went back to Red Cross. They welcomed me, listened to me became my shoulders to cry on, the arms that held me up and the voice that told me "Hey, you're not grabage, we need you" and that made me decide to dedicate this year to them.
After a couple of months struggling back as an instructor, refreshing my mind from all the stuff we need to discuss and removing that over analytical mind med school has brought me, I was back on track. With my second family, I felt great, I felt appreciated, I felt me again.
Medicine is Like LOVE, It would entice you, seduce you, grab you by the neck, and ask you to give up your life for him... But whenever you feel lost, remember you have A FAMILY... you have your ultimate lover, HIM...
I read my previous blog... and I see how I was soooo proud of my choice... I see myself confident... I see myself cheerful... Those 6 months that I have been quiet... I was the opposite I was burdened, suffering and generally not liking the whole thing going on.
I realized that really being into Medicine is not a privilege for those who can afford, but a calling not like Nursing as a calling it was like Priesthood as a calling. I felt alone during my journey. I keep on reading my older "journal notes" on my planner which I wrote during my alone time. I just kept on reading myself saying I was alone, I was sad, I really want this badly but I just can't take the fact that you should ISOLATE YOURSELF from the whole world. This includes family, friends (outside of med school), social networking (except when ranting) and yes I CANNOT TAKE THAT!
I decided to continue till the end of the school year, just for me not to give the damn shot and that feeling of giving up without a fight. So I ended up struggling to at least save me some face. After the final exams my first instinct was to go home and relax despite me knowing I have already buried my Medicine career. After that knowing the results are out I kinda did not want to see it but I know I have to. So I just finish reading my results dwell on it a little and cried.
After going through my Depression state my next step was, so where to go from here? I decided to go back to a place where I felt secured and felt at home despite not really being home. I went back to Red Cross. They welcomed me, listened to me became my shoulders to cry on, the arms that held me up and the voice that told me "Hey, you're not grabage, we need you" and that made me decide to dedicate this year to them.
After a couple of months struggling back as an instructor, refreshing my mind from all the stuff we need to discuss and removing that over analytical mind med school has brought me, I was back on track. With my second family, I felt great, I felt appreciated, I felt me again.
Medicine is Like LOVE, It would entice you, seduce you, grab you by the neck, and ask you to give up your life for him... But whenever you feel lost, remember you have A FAMILY... you have your ultimate lover, HIM...
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